Freddie! (And me.)
This is Freddie, with me the Christmas after I'd had my cancer ops and 6 months of chemotherapy. He didn't mind that I was having constant hot flushes and had put on about 3 stone in weight! He just loved being with me like I loved being with him.
Without him, I may never have discovered I could heal - now I know we all can, but back then, it seemed a very unlikely possibility! I'd spent years searching for a cure for chronic fatigue, feeling like a hopeless failure. Everything I'm enjoying doing and learning now, is really thanks to him. And having him is thanks to a strange chain of events that culminated in a fateful phone-call on a fateful day - August 31st, 1997 - the day Princess Diana died.
That's the thing about me and Freddie. Everything about him was meaningful to me, from the phonecall where I first heard about him, because that was the phonecall in which the first words were 'Isn't it awful about Princess Diana?" I'd been fast asleep and heard no news about it. So I was reeling with that news, still only half-awake, when I heard there was a small dog, a chihuahua called Tyson(!), who needed fostering for a year. I can't say my heart jumped for joy. In fact I think it sank further - but I did at least have the sense to resist my natural inclination to say 'no'! I somehow managed to remember that help often comes in unexpected ways and in completely differently to whatever we may imagine. I suppose my idea of help was something a bit more predictable; since money worries had been uppermost in my mind for many years, my choice would have been a 'You've won a huge amount of money in the lottery' kind of phonecall! But no, that wasn't what 'the universe' had conjured up for me. Help was coming in the small form of a very delicate dog who needed my help. The problem was, I had the idea I couldn't help anyone; I felt I needed the help myself! I reluctantly agreed I'd talk to Anne, Tyson's owner; after all, it couldn't hurt. After all, when you've asked for help, it's foolish to turn down any unexpected offers that come along.
It's strange thinking back to my mental and emotional state then. I know that looking after a chihuahua was the last thing on earth I wanted to do! I was depressed, having suffered chronic fatigue for many years. I couldn't really see any hope in my life - no energy, no money, apparently no help from the medical profession; so finally, about 3 weeks before that fateful phone call, I'd mustered up enough energy to put out a heartfelt plea to the universe: 'Send me some help! Now!!' And when the phone rang and woke me up that morning, although I didn't want wake up and answer it, at the same time I had a sneaking suspicion this just might be the universe replying - and I know beyond any doubt that it was!
What would I have done without Freddie? It's possible he even saved my life; maybe if I hadn't been twisting around to pick him up on my bed, the ovarian cyst wouldn't have become a blockage that needed emergency surgery. I don't know, but I do know Freddie saw me through all the trauma of the operations and chemotherapy treatment; he gave me a good reason to want to get out of hospital and back on my feet, to take care of him. He was my greatest comfort; sadly his heart finally gave way, at the age of 14, two weeks before I went to Brazil to see Joao de Deus, the psychic surgeon and healer. He'd been with me for just 3 and a half years.
Freddie's story was a bit sad. His elderly owner had had a stroke, and she wasn't discovered for some days. So he'd been without food, effectively on his own, and then at the vet's kennels for about 3 months. Freddie's owner had a niece, Anne, who discovered him there. She felt sorry for him and despite admitting she wasn't really a 'dog' person, she decided to rescue him. However, she and her husband already had a year in Australia planned, so now needed someone to foster him while they were away. I'm not sure how the card they wrote out got to be in the pet shop around the corner from Ruth, a lovely woman, who also discovered she had healing abilities a year or so later. I'd done some dog-walking for her border collie, Dexter, and we got on really well. Anne and little Tyson lived nowhere near Ruth - but anyway, the card was in the window, and she saw it and thought of me!
I remember when Anne brought Freddie to me for a visit. She wasn't sure I would want to take him on, because he had a long list of illnesses and injuries; suffered epileptic fits, had a bad heart murmur, could only eat small amounts of freshly cooked chicken (I'm a vegetarian!) and so on. Freddie was very polite, but reserved. He sat quietly while we talked, and when we'd discussed his diet, his ailments, his preferences (he didn't like being picked up) and I'd agreed to take him, he got up on his hind legs and looked meaningfully at Anne - time to go! Such a tiny little dog, but calm and sure of what he wanted. And it obviously wasn't me!
Anne turned up with Freddie three weeks after the arranged date, contd.
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